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Saturday, August 22, 2009
i'm sorry.

i know that i've been acting like a jerk, always being sian whenever you bring me out to meet your friends, when we go out drinking/clubbing on friday or saturday nights, when you just wanna have fun and de-stress after a long work week and when i just want to hide under the comfort of my own balnket and sleep my worries, my stress away.

i try my best to accept your friends, be it that they are people whom i hate back in poly, i try to give them a second chance; be it that they do not respect us and our status, i try to ignore their snide and sarcarstic comments and leave it up to you to handle them; be it that they say bad things about my back, i keep quiet about it, and leave it to you to believe them or me.

but not to say that it's all bad; i did have my fun and laughter with some of your friends; the JB trip with K & J was one of the best overseas trips I had with my friends; common interests like cosplay have brought me and your friends closer too; and even going to zirca have not only opened my eyes to new clubbing venues in singapore, enlarged my social circle, facebook friends & msn lists, but opened me to all kinds of people and their diverse personalities.

it's been almost two months since u said 'yes' at the queensway macdonalds;and of course, there has been ups and downs in our time tgt- we've known our strengths and weaknesses; our flaws and our strengths; our idiosyncracies and our peeves; but through it all, we've managed to get through all of those with our perserverance and each other. You've lent me your shoulders to lean on when i was down and emo; i was there for you when you needed a shoulder to cry on.

so no matter what other people say, what other people do, deep down inside, i'll always be there for you.
nicky ♥ 9:43 PM
Monday, August 10, 2009
Tong: So, Mew, how have you been?

Mew: Fine. Playing my music is fun.

Tong: But you are alone. Aren't you lonely?

Mew: Frighteningly lonely.

Tong: What do you mean? "Frighteningly lonely"?

Mew: It's like when we were younger, we were so lonely because we didn't have alot of friends.
And now that we are grown up, loneliness seems, just so much worse.

Tong: Why is it so bad for you?

Mew: I don't know how to explain it. It started during the summer when I was in 8th Grade.
Papa took grandma somewhere for several days.
And the day when she came back...

It's not easy at all, because the longer my grandma is gone the more I miss her.

So I have one question:
If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to hand it the one day when we are separated?
And, if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation well, is it possible Tong, that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?
At the same time, I was also wondering. Is it possible that, we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all?

That's my loneliness.
I have lived with it now for 5 years, I know just how bad loneliness feels.
I fear it will continue to get worse.

Tong: Mew... (reaches out arm towards Mew)

Mew: (leans towards Tong)
nicky ♥ 11:11 PM